Coming Out of Surgery

Wow! What a mixed bag of emotions I am tonight! Jarrett has been out of surgery and in CICU since early in the afternoon.

I can't remember exactly how and when things happened, so I'll just give a general synopsis as best I can.

Waiting while he was in surgery was not too bad. I blogged and then purchased plane tickets for our spring break Disneyland trip. Nurse Esther would come out from time to time to give us updates. Everything seemed to move fairly quickly! Mom and Dad waited with Matt and I for a while, then later Dad stayed with Zephyr while Aunt Terri, Aunt Jill, Gramma and Grampa came over. Somehow, even in dark, scary or uncertain moments, this particular crowd of people always seems to lighten the mood and make it seem festive even! How blessed we were to be surrounded by so much love!

I think Dr. Campbell came out and talked to us while it was just Mom and Dad waiting with us. They repaired the cleft with 4 sutures. There is still a mild amount of regurgitation. This means that there is still a small leak and a little bit of blood still moves the wrong direction. Dr. Campbell did not seem concerned about this. Time will tell how the valve continues to heal. The doctor expects that Jarrett will have no limitations in his life due to his heart!

I knew that there was a possibility that there would still be some leakage and even that one surgery might not be enough to fix it. I think I learned that at our second opinion appointment. It was a surprise to everyone else. I think I'd kind of blocked the fact from my mind, dismissing it as an impossibility. We'll just continue to pray that everything heals well and that we won't have to do this again!

After visiting with Dr. Campbell, we had to wait for them to let us see Jarrett in the CICU. Here are Aunt Jill, Aunt Terri, Mom and Matt waiting:

And then Matt and Grampa and Gramma:

Aunt Terri and Aunt Jill experimented with the cool coffee machine in the waiting room:

A nurse called Matt and I to come back in what seemed to be kind of a hurry. This made me think that Jarrett must be awake and asking for us. That wasn't the case. He was still asleep. The doctors and nurses had briefed us on Tuesday to know what to expect when we saw him after surgery. The explained where each tube was going to be and what it was to be used for, so it was not too much of a shock to see him. He honestly didn't look too bad, considering!

As Nurse Jill explained his current condition to Matt and I, I felt myself getting really dizzy. I didn't expect to nearly faint, but I had to grab on to Matt and then lie down on the sofa to keep from falling over. For a few minutes, the nurses were attending to me rather than to Jarrett. I felt really silly--probably just hadn't eaten enough yet. Soon, I was back on my feet and everyone could focus on Jarrett again!

Here he is in CICU after surgery:

We couldn't find Candy Cane for a while, which caused a bit of a stir, but they finally found it in Jarrett's chart. We placed it right by Jarrett's arm for him:

It seems that everyone has a different name for the red light they bandage to his finger to monitor his oxygen level. I've heard it called the Buzz Lightyear light, and a few other things I forget. My favorite term was Aunt Terri's: his E.T. finger!

He can have up to 4 visitors at a time, including Matt and I. My family took turns coming back in pairs. When Mom and Aunt Terri were in with us, Jarrett started to wake up. He still had a breathing tube in, which made it impossible for him to talk or even cry. He was so scared, disoriented and maybe in pain. He flailed and fought against his wires and tubes. Mom counted seven of us holding him down. I talked to him the whole time, just letting him know I was there and that he was doing a good job and that everything was going to be okay. They gave him some morphine and he could rest again. We were all a bit shaken up by the event; the doctors assured us that Jarrett is unlikely to remember any of it.

By the next time he woke up, the nurses had tied his wrists down so he couldn't pull out his tubes--he did lose one IV during his first alert period. The second time he awakened, he still writhed and fought, but not as forcefully as before. I just assured him that we were there. I explained to him about the breathing tube and why he couldn't talk.

The third time he woke up, we were able to take the breathing tube out! He looked like he felt so much better! Here he is after the tube was taken out:

They change shifts on the unit between 6:45 and 7:45 both morning and night. For us, that means that we can either be with Jarrett in his room, or we need to be out--no changing positions during that time! Since Jarrett was still out, I chose to go spend that hour with Zephyr, hoping I could get him to eat. He'd been having a great time all day with all the attention he'd been getting. I think both my aunts told me (albeit hesitantly) that he really wasn't missing me. I'd honestly rather have him happy, so that was fine with me!

When I got to the hotel room, he mostly wanted to play rather than eat. Although, he did want to lick my bagel:

He tried to figure out how to use the plastic knife with it:

By the time I got back to Jarrett's room, Matt said he'd awakened once. He was able to ask a couple questions and said he needed to go potty. Matt told him that I was taking care of Zephyr and showed him Candy Cane. He tried to explain how it was okay for Jarrett just to "go" when he needed to go potty right now.

Matt and I played cards while Jarrett slept some more, then Matt headed over to the hotel for the night. Jarrett woke up one more time. He said, "Mama, hold me." I wrapped my arms around him so that he'd feel like he was being held. Nurse Jaime asked if he'd like some ice chips. He said he wanted water, but she convinced him to eat the ice chips instead. I got to feed him the chips and Jaime gave him an oral dose of Tylenol. In the middle of one bite of ice chip he fell asleep again.

We have his Cars blanket wrapped around him and they've given him sedative to help him sleep through the night. Right now he's resting peacefully:

Here's my bunk for the night:

Matt said to me while we waited for Jarrett to come out of surgery, "It's this moment that I'm really glad we got three opinions before choosing surgery." It does seem so strange to walk in with a walking, talking, happy little boy in the morning and then have him so helpless by the evening. I keep reminding myself how, even though the timing of it was elective, this was a very necessary surgery. We are so blessed that the cleft was found and repaired before extensive damage or even death had occurred.

Being at Children's Hospital also makes me so thankful that Jarrett's condition is treatable and that once he heals, he will be a healthy, normal little boy who will be able to grow up to be a healthy adult. Not all of the children who come here are that lucky. We have so much to be thankful for!

I've also been overwhelmed by the number of texts, phone calls, e-mails and Facebook messages we've gotten today. So many people have been lifting Jarrett and our family up. I kinda feel like George Bailey at the end of It's a Wonderful Life. We've really got wonderful friends and family!

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Well, I'm tired and should probably get some sleep while everything is calm! It's been a long, hard day, but also a good day!